Is Ben Roethlisberger on your Waiver Wire? Here's the quick math on this: Some people out there are dropping him, because their backs are against the wall, and they must free up roster space to pick someone up to replace John Q. Public, who’s on bye this week, or John Doe, who just got placed on Injured Reserve with a season ending injury… and then guess who’s on that Waiver Wire… that's right... Big Ben! Mic drop. There’s a good chance he’ll be able to return to action within a 3-4 week time span, so if you can afford to roll the dice, and you suck at Quarterback, pick him up!! And now, a message from our sponsor...
"Dear Sir or Ma’am or otherwise identified… We value our guests, and would like to know how your stay has been, so far, at the Hollywood Hotel Of Defensive Line HELL!!! AHH HAH HAH HAH!! We'll have you RUNNING BACK to your victory podium every single WEEK!!" AHH AHH AHH (Cue Thunder!!... Screeeeeams!!) Here’s a tip for all you bottom scraping mercenaries out there. Actually, it’s tantamount to what Tom Vu was doing in real estate back in the ‘90s. It’s poaching, but sadly, yet fortunately, it usually tends to work... Opposing teams have been averaging 174 yards and a touchdown and a half on the ground against the San Francisco 49ers. If you have a top back going up against them this week… PLAY them!! It’s a time tested strategy.
Matt Ryan (QB - ATL) VS. SD
Mattural Ice is on fire, as are his full field of weapons. Everything is currently going right in this offense. Also, the Chargers have been pretty generous to starting Quarterbacks, and this should be too much of an arsenal for them to fend off.
Marcus Mariota (QB - TEN) VS. IND
Mariota is the hot hand right now. The Colts are a mixed bag right now, and they lack the front seven to effectively deal with a highly mobile QB like Mariota. My stat line prediction: 212 yards passing, 2 passing touchdowns, 65 rushing yards and 1 rushing touchdown.
Mike Evans (WR - TB) @ SF
Evans is a target juggernaut, and they are playing San Francisco. For those who haven’t been watching, the 49ers are the ones who are playing Division III college level ball, right now, and that’s being generous. Look for the bromance between Jameis Winston and Mike Evans to blossom into a full fledged bruv affair on Sunday.
Jacquizz Rodgers (RB - TB) @ SF
Secret to RB3 success explained in three simple steps... Phase One - Doug Martin: Out. Phase Two - Charles Sims: Injured Reserve. Phase Three - Jacquizz Rodgers: PROFIT!! This business model has worked for Underpants Gnomes, it will work for the Buccaneers. Also, look for Roger Goodell and the NFL to create the world’s first Unsuperbowl, featuring the San Francisco 49ers and the improbably worse Cleveland Browns. It will be suggested that attendees get thoroughly anesthetized prior to kickoff, in order to protect their eyes against permanent damage.
Matt Forte (RB - NYJ) VS. BAL
The Ravens have been playing at an elite level versus Running Backs, allowing less than 10 FP per game to the position. Fitzdrastic has been struggling, as of late, which may not lend well to Forte catching passes out of the backfield. What started as a banner season for Matty seems to have dwindled down to typical Jets bullshit.
Rashad Jennings (RB - NYG) VS. LA in London
No one is really worth betting on in the Giants’ dreaded Backfield Of Screams… (cue thunder and screams).
Golden Tate (WR - DET) VS. WAS
If Tate doesn’t draw the Josh Norman Invasion, he still has to contend with Marvin Jones for targets.
Zach Ertz (TE - PHI) VS. MIN
If you drafted him as a TE1, you’re going to be disappointed. Same shit, different year.
Deandre Hopkins & Will Fuller (WRs - HOU) @ DEN
Hopkins has been struggling. Fuller is still the clear cut second option and is still trying to establish himself as a regular target. The Broncos are allowing an average of 8.5 Fantasy Points to the WR position after six weeks. This is a bad, bad matchup for two otherwise excellent ball catchers. Don’t expect more than flimsy WR2 numbers for Hopkins and decent flex numbers for Fuller.
San Diego Chargers (DEF) @ ATL
The Falcons have allowed 0.2 Fantasy Points to opposing Defenses this season. That’s the lowest in the league. The Falcons are a run and pass and pass and run first offense, this year. They should control the game flow during most of this game, and should not allow much defensive scoring.
Since my publisher's out in the desert, in the middle of nowhere, and he left me to publish this, everybody gets a big ice bucket filled with Lagunitas IPA. You can have your own Ice Bucket Challenge. And speaking of the Ice Bucket Challenge, Booze League would love to give a shout out to Steve Gleason and Team Gleason! You're doing great things for ALS, and the world has taken notice. Thanks to the phenomenon started by Team Gleason, $115 million was raised for ALS research in 2014, compared to just $23.5 million in 2013! You're a hero in New Orleans, and to all of us everywhere. Stay up, buddy!!
Aside from that, the rest of the league can breathe easy, as the Dallas Cowboys are on bye this week, resting up to deliver their next crushing disappointment to the overinflated Philadelphia Egos. Have a great Week 7, I'm outta here!!
Jeff "The Guru" Gray owns Gray Area Fitness, has a BA in Biology from Whittier College, works with osteopathic and medical students at 2 universities, is an avid shooter, acts, writes, and spins fire. Animal lover, Burner, traveller, fantasy football analyst, he's just your typical Tourette's/A.D.D. kid from the suburbs. He currently looks after his codependent dog and neurotic cat. Passion and experience sums it up for The Guru, and new destinations, great shows, cars, and crazy animal adventures are always within his purvey.