Start/Sip Pourcast - Week 2

Start/Sip Pourcast - Week 2

Break out the big mugs, the ones that give you carpal tunnel... wet them. Freeze them like a super villain would... fill them. Now...log in, pull up your lineups, and let's do a fucking fantasy football season!!

Start:

Gary Barnidge (TE - CLE) vs. BAL

Another sad day for poor RGIII is a turning point for Gary, who dominated under Josh McCown last season. Josh McCown has a huge man crush on Gary Barnidge. And, why wouldn't he? The guy dates MMA chicks.
RATING: ALESMITH SPEEDWAY STOUT

Eli Manning (QB - NYG) vs. NO

Saints. Just... Saints.
RATING: EVIL TWIN DOUBLE BARREL JESUS

Carson Palmer (QB - ARI) vs. TB

Palmer should have no problem picking apart a weak Bucs secondary, and the Cards have a top offensive line coming into 2016.
RATING: DRAGOON LAZARUS

Allen Robinson (WR - JAX) @ SD

I just don't think that Brandon Flowers and Jason Verrett are an adequate match for "The Allens." Whoever isn't busy with Hurns will have their hands full with A-Rob.

RATING: FUNKY BUDDHA LAST BUFFALO IN THE PARK

Ezekiel Elliott (RB - DAL) @ WAS

Zeke almost made some serious shit happen last week, and the Redskins' (oh, that name) defensive line ranked 27th in the league at the start of the season. The Dallas "Manifest Destiny" Boys' luxury O-line will sell the rosy hued Native Americans down the river, just like what happened back in the Old West. So, grab your steak, ten-gallon hat, and some Budweiser, and watch the slaughter reenacted.
RATING: BELLS EXPEDITION STOUT

 

Sip:

Zach Miller (TE - CHI) vs. PHI

WK1 MILLER.jpg

If there's one thing the Eagles don't like, it's tight ends. They allowed the 8th least fantasy points to the position in 2015. I don't like this matchup for his quarterback, either.

RATING: MILLER GENUINE DRAFT LIGHT

Jay Cutler (QB - CHI) vs. PHI

The Eagles are atrocious against quarterbacks, surpassed only in suck by the Saints. But, the Bears have an equally abysmal offensive line, and the balance of power should tilt toward Philadelphia. I'm starting Ryan, Fitz, Mariota, Flacco, even Garoppolo over Cutler this week.
RATING: BUD ICE

Frank Gore (RB - IND) @ DEN

I still like Frank Gore. But he's going up against insane monsters with sharp fangs. I don't like his chances behind an unimpressive line that allows tons of quarterback hurries on a QB who will need to get rid of the ball quickly on Sunday.
RATING: B-40 BULL MAX 8%

Arian Foster (RB - MIA) @ NE

The clown prince of running backs is back, and he's trying to find his way back into the groove. I don't think this matchup in Foxboro bodes well for him.
RATING: FOSTERS ICE  

Ameer Abdullah (RB - DET) vs. TEN

The Titans' secondary is a train wreck. But, what a lot of people don't know is that their run defense is pretty damn good. The Lions run protection is nothing to write home about, and Ameer has yet to break out as a clearcut starting option in Detroit. I'm starting that old woman who flashed her tits at me under a bridge in L.A. over Abdullah, this week.
RATING: MICHELOB ULTRA

 

Jeffrey Gray is a fitness expert who consults medical and osteopathic students on clinical skills. He is in desperate need of treatment for his fantasy football addiction. You can reach him on Twitter @graydog or email jeff@boozeleague.com.

Martini-laden Friday #DrinkPorn

Martini-laden Friday #DrinkPorn

Boozing Beneath the Great Outdoors

Boozing Beneath the Great Outdoors