Congratulations!! If you've made it this far, you are probably battling for the coveted championship. Most leagues decide it all in Week 16. Time to fire up the studs who got you this far, because they're likely the ones who will take you all the way.
Like the Josh Gordon of old, I must have been smokin' something strong, because I could swear the Yahoo! Fantasy software graded my best team (maybe ever) a D+. Furthermore, Yahoo's draft client glitched up on me and cost me my 5th Round pick. Somehow, I ended up with NYJ safety, Jamal Adams. I was neither trying to pick a "Jamal" nor an "Adams." But, in 2017, when your first four picks are Julio Jones, Todd Gurley II, Keenan Allen, and DeAndre Hopkins, who really gives a damn?
Well, this year brought forth the "Revenge Of The D+," so to speak. Let's take a rare look inside the workings of a fantasy football league...
That's me, all the way at the bottom. D+. And, my weakest pick, Deandre Hopkins in Round 4, is the number 2 fantasy wide receiver behind Antonio Brown. This is why I never take fantasy software predictions seriously. They don't even show up on my brain's radar. My experience has shown that they are right approximately 50% of the time, in other words, completely worthless. Letting these "projections" dictate a single move can be lethal for a fantasy player. Let's look at my Week 1, Week 8, and Week 15 rosters, to demonstrate how fluid lineups have to be to succeed in a fantasy league:
Jones, Allen, Hopkins, Gurley, Fitz, and the Baltimore defense... These are the only consistent players throughout my season. Half my team was built off the waiver wire, and playing the wire efficiently requires a ton of independent research. I made zero trades this year. In fact, I think it's been about three years since I made a single trade.
Number one in the standings, number one in regular season points, and almost undefeated. I only lost a single matchup to a narcissist who was kicked out of the league, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut or keep himself from taking harmless smack talk to the level of vicious personal attacks. Well, fuck him. He's a little bitch, and his wife is a total codependent who will never call him out on his behavior. It's gonna be a rough ride for the young couple. I've seen this before, and I barely survived the clutches of a self-defeating, narcissistic sociopath, who I dated (was held hostage) for almost seven years. And, it made me a better person, and a better fantasy football player.
And, there you have it! A rare glimpse inside a fantasy football league. I had to "bob and weave" all season, had some challenging matchups. This is no easy league, either, and at least 2/3 of the players are tough competitors, who can sneak up and slap you on any given Sunday.
On behalf of The Booze League, your devoted Guru would like to thank everyone who contributed to this amazing fantasy season: David Cutler, for running the above mentioned league, "You Stay Classy SD," Booze League's very own Otter, who has taken to fantasy like a champ, and our esteemed Commish, Wylie Withers! They are stalwarts in my world, and have shined all year. Thanks a lot, fellas!! Great season!!!
Jeff "The Guru" Gray owns Gray Area Fitness, has a BA in Biology from Whittier College, works with osteopathic and medical students at 2 universities, is an avid shooter, acts, writes, and spins fire. Animal lover, Burner, traveller, fantasy football analyst, he's just your typical Tourette's/A.D.D. kid from the suburbs. He currently looks after his codependent dog and neurotic cat. Passion and experience sums it up for The Guru, and new destinations, great shows, cars, and crazy animal adventures are always within his purvey.