4th & Ounces Fantasy Football League
This year Booze League’s yearly fantasy football league gets some extra spice! Traditionally Booze League faces off against our friends at The Unfiltered Gentlemen podcast for bragging rights. This year, the team at Booze League are not only going head to head with each other, we’re raising the stakes! For 2019, the weekly award of the Carlos Irwin Estevez Memorial Award for Shitting the Bed comes with a price: a punishment of that week’s “winner’s” choosing.
Here’s the official announcement of the punishment’s from The Commish. There’s a breakdown of everything as well as weekly video proof below the announcement…
Current Standings - Week 8
The Fillup Livers - The Commish (6-2)
Otters Like Anal - Otter (5-3)
With Wentz We Booze - Zach (5-3)
Gridiron Grundel - Sandro (4-4)
BL Bombshell - Amanda (4-4)
Guru Smith-Schuster - The Guru (3-5)
Ice Cole Beer - Coley (3-5)
Nick’s Nice Team - Big Dick Nick (2-6)
As with all things, there’s gotta be rules. Here are the basic rules governing who gets the punishment, how they’re chosen from week to week, time frames, etc.
Lowest point total after the week’s games have been played wins the Charlie Sheen Award.
Punishment must be posted before the following Sunday.
Video proof or it didn’t happen.
Punishments can only be used once. Once it’s done, it’s off the board.
Bed shitter chooses their own punishment from remaining unused punishments.
Now what happens if the “winner” doesn’t get it up in time? That was something we hadn’t thought about at the start of all this nonsense, but after some deliberation, we decided not taking your punishment is the ultimate Act of Bed Shitting, and as such, that person automatically wins the Charlie Sheen award for the following week.
There are 14 total punishments… one for each week of the regular season of fantasy football. As mentioned above, while the Shitter chooses their own punishment, once it’s done, it can’t be done again in any future weeks. Without any further gilding of the lilly, here’s 2019’s crop of punishments. Italics denotes that they’ve been done and are no longer available for future use.
Master Hunter: Take a shot of Jager - Sandro Week 5.
Pure Claw Life: Drink one White Claw Pure every day, Tuesday - Saturday
Be Better Week: post one video a day to the Booze League Instagram stories detailing what you did that day that made you a loser and what you’ll do to make yourself better - Coley Week 6
Body Issues: Create and post a picture of yourself in the style of ESPN Magazine’s Body Issue pictorials
Roasty Toasty: Post your worst picture on Reddit’s r/roastme forum for maximum roasting and read the best roasts on video
Seltzer Hell: Combine in one pint glass: PBR Hard Seltzer, any flavor of Natural Light seltzer, and Four Look Hard Seltzer (if available) and chug.
Orange is the New Bad: Get the darkest, bronziest spray tan available - The Commish Week 1
Shirt of Shame: Wear this shirt all night at a bar or brewery. Sized medium for the shits and giggles.
Target the Loser: Wear a red polo and khakis to your local Target and help at least three people.
Domestic Dynamo: Chug a crap domestic beer of your choosing - The Bombshell Week 6 (she chose the Champagne of Beers, Miller High Life)
Hopster Heaven: chug a double or triple IPA of your choosing - Coley Week 3 (she chose Tricerahops by Ninkasi Brewing)
I’ll Have Another: take a shot of Malort - Big Dick Nick Week 2
Ice Ice Baby: Chug a Smirnoff Ice - Big Dick Nick Week 3
Loose Lips Sink: Create the most epic lip sync video of a trashy song of your choosing
Follow Booze League on Instagram as all these punishments appear first on our IGTV Channel. You can also of course get the latest updates on this very page you’re readying right here.
This year, the winner of the Booze League 4th & Ounces league will be awarded the Andre Roussimoff Award of Excellence, named to honor the greatest boozer of all time Andre the Giant. Read some of his craziest booze achievements here.